Turtles, that’s right, turtles. Yeah, sure they appear like they travel slowly at first. They appear tame. They seem like they wouldn’t do you a harm on this planet. Just wandering about on random pieces of real estate, nibbling on pieces of fruit. Well, my friend, I’m sorry but you are lulled into a false a feeling of security. You see, the turtles of Rio de Janeiro happen to be plotting on us for quite a while now. They are giant marauding godless killing machines. And they are coming over to our apartments and hotels for a meal.

Anyone who has watched the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles knows what these cold blooded reptiles are capable of. Kung fu, karate and all sorts of other violence and shenanigans. We haven’t even reached the snapping turtles yet. Those have been kept in reserve, waiting to be unleashed when turtles rain hell on Rio de Janeiro. Your excellent beaches of Copacabana and Ipanema will a vacation no more. It’s turtle time and we’re about to be shell shocked.

So how will the invasion begin? Well first they’ll send their little minions out to be picked up by people and brought home to their flats and apartments. Even tourists will take them to their hotels. The idea is to have them as pets, in small aquariums. Little does anyone know that these acrobatic little devils are just lulling you into a false a feeling of security. Those rentals and accommodations that you thought would make for a nice little holiday will now be a hunting ground for these cold blooded reptilian killers. Without warning they will jump out of your little cardboard box you put them in and bite your flipping nose off!

So what are the recommendations to deal with these armored invaders? Whether you are residing in apartments, hotels, or flats the fact stays that you are still vulnerable. Of course it might be possible that you can find rentals that will be more secured accommodations keep in mind that the threat remains. The shelled assassins of Rio de Janeiro are coming for you, any moment now.

Of course you probably never would have suspected that your stay in Ipanema or Copacabana would be like this. Who could possibly forecast a turtle invasion of this degree. That’s right, no one. It was their plan all along. The greatest trick that the devil ever played was convincing the world that he didn’t exist. Apparently these vicious little tortoises have played the same style of trick.