Before you begin reading this article I have some careful instructions for you. Immediately go into your kitchen and look for some aluminum foil. All apartments has to be stocked with this essential supply. If you can’t find any in the kitchen, just visit a local Rio de Janeiro grocery store and you are sure to find some for sale. Do that now. I’m waiting.

Okay, you have the aluminum foil? Now encapsulate it around your head but in the end make a long stick of aluminum foil off the surface of your head. The taller the better. This helps keep them from controlling you. Okay, now that that’s been completed, you should go to the penthouse level of your building, you will have the best reception and it will shield you from the mind reading waves. This piece of real estate is the best position for you at the moment.

Now that you have taken the necessary precautions, you should now recognize that even though you’ve made the choice to seek out apartments that are in Rio de Janeiro, this kind of real estate is no longer secure. Historically, from the time of Hollywood’s inception, it has been documented that aliens only go to the United States and they only speak English. Unfortunately, because Brazil is becoming a larger participant on the world stage, they are also starting to draw in aliens and an invasion could be forthcoming. Before long, your penthouse overlooking Copacabana and Ipanema could be overrun with the bald green skinned rascals. You’ve been warned.

So how will you protect yourself from the alien invasion of Rio de Janeiro? Well fortunately knowledge is power, and now you know. You were fortunate enough to find some aluminum foil for sale, but you can’t just let yourself be the only person to know. That would be selfish. You need to start dispersing this information. So straight away, at this moment, you should go and run through the streets of Copacabana and Ipanema screaming, “Aliens are coming!”

It’s very important that you do this. The aliens aren’t here on holiday. They didn’t travel here for a vacation. They came here for a very distinct piece of real estate, Earth. Regrettably, our apartments are located here, so we all have a stake in this. Last time I checked, we didn’t put the Earth up for sale.